Bound to happen

So the season kicks off. A school game, a couple of posh schools. Yes I know that “posh” could be interpreted as a little bit pejorative but believe me, their annual fees would equal a reasonable salary for some.

Really hot, really, really hot so I’m glad we have a morning KO. The Masters in charge, who also look like older kids to me, have decided that they will play 3 x 20 min periods, which is fine by me, but the first period will be for training, so me refereeing and the two Masters coaching their respective teams.

Not my “fave” way to go but the reality is that it goes pretty smoothly, a few (new style) high tackles but nothing too serious.

The proper game kicks off, and the KO goes straight out. Scrum chosen.

I have a little chat with the two front rows, I get lots of nods in return.

“Crouch” I call. The one team does that thing whereby they wait a few seconds before they join the other team in crouching.

“Bind” I call. Inevitably they melt together, so up we come again. All the boys have to un-bind from their teammates, and then go through that re-binding process because….well I guess they see it on the TV.

I remind them all that 30 seconds before we had all agreed to be stable at each stage, and not crouch or bind or set/engage until I tell them. More nods, a couple of grunts.

I also advise the hookers to use their “brake foot”. A memory seems to stir in both their faces, so that’s a “win” for officialdom. Validated by an almost perfect engagement sequence. I give it the briefest moment to ensure that the appearance of stability was not deceitful, then step away and allow the 9 his role.

So. Private schools. Why no bloody numbers on their shirts. Surely that’s not too much to ask. They happily pay for the services of a society ref. Clearly they have superb grounds staff, who have produced some beautiful pitches. Plenty of them. But no blood match shirts. It is irritating, as so many of the boys look the same. Even those with Scrum hats, they all seem to be red in this game.

So it was the scrum-half who put the ball in the scrum. The boys push and the near-side tight-head, a comparatively big lad, swings his hips out and drops straight down! First scrum of my season, it looked very awkward but very fortunately none of the boys were injured.

It was just a clear penalty. So, they come up and I decide we’re re-setting but I have to ask the prop; “You have scrummaged before haven’t you?”

A very nervous looking affirmative nod of his head.

“So you know how to bind?”

A nod.

“You know to push straight?”

A nod.

“You know to keep your shoulders higher than your hips”

He looked a bit confused at that one, clearly running his body parts through his minds eye, to make sure he understood how that could happen,

but eventually nodded.

“But you none of those things at the last scrum. Will you do all of those this time?”

A very enthusiastic nod of the head. Commitment, steeliness and resolve in his whole demeanour. Proper privately educated lad.

“Right, lets go boys, lets get it right this time, on my call…. Crouch….Bind….oh for fucks sake….”

On the bright side, the tight head maintained his bind, and for that I will take this first scrum of the season of progress.